Just A House

Hey there! :3 I'll be reviewing for today.

Well I have to say, this poem has a lot of emotion within it. I am loving it! I like how your style is just right for this kind of poem as well as the verses. They seem to flow into each other just like a story would, it's very neat. You did well by describing the house, what happened inside of the house, how you felt about it, and everything else. You did an amazing job, I liked how specific you were.

At the very end, I like how you stopped the poem with a question. Personally, it got me thinking about why you would feel that way with the house. I have to say, it's a great poem! I can't wait to read some more, if you post any more would you mind sending me a shout out? I would appreciate that.

Thank you so much for your time and have a great day!

~Whitewolfpuppy :3

I'm feeling this one Just dropped in a comment to say that I do...

Sam! Sam, Sam, Sam!

Ok. I'm done and I'll attempt to be serious, now.

So, basically I'm not sure what to do with this. You have images, but you're telling us about them, and it's in a very prose-y sense, too. Plus, you're trying to evoke feeling by telling us what to feel in a few places, like "ditched what wasn’t good for me," - ok, we get something was toxic, but what? Why did it have to be "ditched"? Was it something hard to let go of? Something easy to cast off? Heck, you could do an entire series of poems with the ideas you have stuffed in here.

I'm hesitant to comment on much else, because I can see where this has some great potential, but as it stands it's simply not reading as poetic to me - and I know you can do better.

Your last stanza is more of what I want to see - your last two lines especially. You're giving us a concrete image to grasp, along with imagery that shows us what you want to evoke, rather than simply handing it to us as readers. And it's poetic. I'm never sure how to describe what poetic even is, but those two lines more than anything else I see here evoke that sense, and that's what I think would be most effective.

Anyhoo! Lovely to see you posting again! <3 Keep it up, you, and tell me if you do any revisions here - I wanna see!

Bek

I really liked this. I understand the emotions of the speaker, of the memories rooted in a home. So personally, it was easy for me to connect with because I have had similar experiences.

I like the repetition in the first line of each stanza; it truly makes the doubts of the speaker hit home.

Some parts of the points are a little vague, though they are memories. I wasn't really sure what 'uni' is, probably due to my age - maybe an abbreviation for university, or a nickname for a college? And I wasn't sure what L plates was, either - my first thoughts were 'license plate', but maybe not if the speaker "peeled" them off. I found I couldn't really tap into the mean of the lines:

"...
where I found out I passed my degree
but to what degree will this change be easy?"

You seem to have a time frame going here, and a few of the events seem to be conveyed out of chronological order (which is perfectly wonderful in free verse, it just gets a little confusing). Maybe they're not in your mind, but my assumption when reading it is that I would think getting your first car would come before exams, college, and passing degrees. But maybe not! The mind of poets are often hard to read

The last stanza is my favorite, which is ideal in poetry. Great job! I really liked it. And looking on the right side of my screen, I see all these other writings of yours... What inspiration! I hope to be as consistent as you with writing when I get to be your age.

~Indie.

This the kind of poetry that i love to read. And ultamitly i am just a kid but the kinds of poems that not only share joy but memories...good good memories is the good stuff. I hate being a critic but i have nothing to say in terms of this poem anyways. Its wonderfull, beutifull a work of poetic art! congrats on this.